I’m scared to accept my body the way it is. I want to so badly and I’ve hardly ever been ostracized because of my size but I have this built in fear that fat equals ugly. My fiance says he loves me no matter what size I am. I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I’d like to lose weight to have a family and I’d like to tone up, but I don’t want to be a size zero. I’m 5’8 and a uk size 18-20. My weight seems to distribute quite evenly, or so I’m told. I gained weight through antipsychotic medication in my teenage years and a complete U turn in my eating problems, going from binge-purge to just binging.
I want to go to the gym right here right now but I need my student ID to afford it so it’s a no-go for a few weeks. I’m so impatient its unreal. I want to be everything I can be right now.
Sorry for the weird ramble, it’s late and I’m tired.